[Dr. Mike] Is it a true saying that, “Perception determines success or failure … And can this apply in a marriage, as well?”
In theology, we like to say it this way: There are ‘true sayings’ and there are sayings that have truth in them. There is certainly truth in this statement, to some degree.
In Genesis ‐ the book of beginnings, God instituted marriage, and His Word abounds with both promises and warnings to safeguard the family unit. In Dr. Henry Morris’ and Martin Clark’s book, The Bible Has the Answer, they stated the following:
A marriage established and guided by Biblical standards has the potential of such blessedness that it can be compared to Christ’s relationship with His beloved church (See Ephesians 5:22‐23). At the same time, violation of Scriptural standards brings painful and guilt‐ producing consequences. Yet, marriage as an institution is currently receiving numerous attacks. While mankind has a perpetual history of violating marriage covenants, the contemporary challenge denies either the existence or the validity of moral standards regarding the sanctity of marriage.
Certainly, their statement is a valid one, because, in a marriage, people expect to see what they want instead of what really is. That is because they enter a marriage with perceived notions of what the other person is like before spending quality time with them. Some even take the idea that, “whatever is wrong with my mate, I’ll change it over the course of the marriage.” When the frailties start showing up, you usually hear, “I did not know you were like that.” Each person thinks he or she is an expert. When children become a part of that union and see how their parents react to money, love, affection, etc., whether positive or negative, the kids will think that is the way it should be handled when they grow up. There is an unholy alliance creeping up in the church that must be dealt with by leadership.
Hope this helps!