A CHANGED MIND EQUALS A CHANGED ATTITUDE
By: Dr. Mike Jones
Down through the years, I’ve witnessed Christians with bad attitudes, and when confronted in love, their response is, “This is the way I am …!” If we’re to show the world that we as Christians have a standard that we’re to adhere to, in our own lives and to make disciples of, we must change our minds and attitudes, toward others.
If we change our mind and emotions, then our behavior changes next. Why do I make such a bold statement, because the only place where the past exists is the mind. Many (so-called) experts are using models, theories, and assumptions to solve today’s problems. In a general sense, these are understandings and interpretations of how they view the world. 1 Corinthians 13 states that if we do not operate in the God kind of love, we will always view situations the way they appear to us. Love looks beyond the surface at the heart and bases its next move on what it sees. The brain uses one of three main channels of learning and perceiving, to access information from what is going on around us then the information is processed inside our head.
The three channels are: visual, which has to do with seeing. Researches at the University of Washington, Seattle expresses it this way, “Humans are very visual animals…we use our sense of sight to interpret much of the world around us. What we see is called “light.” However, what we see is really only a small part of the entire “electromagnetic spectrum.” Humans can see only the wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation…this is light.”
The second one is called auditory which uses sounds. The ears contain structures for both the sense of hearing and the sense of balance. Nerve impulses are carried for both hearing and balance from the ear to the brain. Sound waves cause the eardrum to vibrate. When the hair cells are excited by vibration, a nerve impulse is generated in the auditory nerve. These impulses are then sent to the brain.
And the third one are emotions, which are a stimulation of the sensory nerve endings. Researcher Dylan Evans in his new book, Emotion: The Science of Sentiment discusses how our emotions can actually make us more rational, rather than – as is often supposed – less. He goes on to say that emotions do indeed play a part in our rational decision-making; and that basic emotions are “universal” – they are not learned. These include joy, distress, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust. Other universal emotions, ‘which heavily involves more use of the human brain, are love, guilt, shame, pride, and jealousy. Some culture-specific emotions are learned as a person grows up in that culture, but Dr. Evans does explain that these are the exceptions to most human emotions.
Here are some helpful word definitions concerning emotional behaviors:
- Impulses – originate quickly from our sensations and lead to spontaneous action.
- Sensations – are feelings that originate directly from our perceptions and lead to impulses.
- Attitudes – are the longer term remembered feelings that have been woven into one’s personality. Attitudes allow us to weigh alternative actions, then constrain and discipline our conduct.
- Moods – reflect one’s emotional energy.
- Appetites – are signals that reflect our needs. There are animal appetites such as hunger, thirst, sex and spiritual appetites such yearning for truth, inspirational music and closeness to God.
- Thoughts – are the cognitive experience where we compare, evaluate, judge, make decisions and plan.
- Anxiety – is the wavering or frustration of an emotion. It is not well focused (hyperfocus) and may result in causing circular thinking and worry.
- Attraction – is the aggressive high focus (hyperfocus) of an emotion.
There is a test most Psychologists use to determine a person’s motivation. I took the test and it was determined that I am motivated more through the “auditory” channel. I am constantly talking to myself about what I heard during a conversation. According to God, talking to ourselves to build up our spirit man is a good thing. “Speaking to themselves in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs singing and making melody in their hearts to the Lord … ” (Ephesians 5:19)
As a Christian, once we have built up ourselves in the most holy faith, let us keep that positive self image of ourselves. This positive self-image sets the limit of both our thinking and our behavior. When we do wrong, admit the wrong and say to yourself, “that was certainly not the right thing to do under those circumstances. I am sorry for any inconvenience and hurt I have caused. Now I have an opportunity to make the situation right.” Then do what is right.
Each individual has the power within to change his/her mind about any attitude or behavior. And one of the best tools to help now is to remember every person has two parts to SELF — true and false. The true self accepts who they are – an individual as an individual. We can see this type of person listed in 1 Corinthians 13. When you know who you are in Christ, the love of God flows and you see people through the eyes of God’s love.
I love how the Interactive Bible breaks down what it calls the three kinds of LOVE.
First kind of love: The “IF kind of love” says, “I will love you IF you do things my way, IF you give me gifts, IF you become a good provider, IF you get a good report card at school.” It is a conditional love based upon future expectations. If these conditions are not met, then like a legal contract, love is broken. This is a selfish love because it is solely based upon future expectations. It is love that must be earned. Most marriages fail because they are based upon this conditional love. Children are often heard saying, “I will be your friend” IF you let me play with your nev toy; till then I hate you. Thus the IF kind of love is a fickle unstable love. This is the childish love we are all born with. It is a worldly love of natural instincts. We need to mature out of the IF Kind of love!
Second kind of love: The “because of” kind of love says, “I will love you BECAUSE you are now young and beautiful, BECAUSE I now desire you, BECAUSE you are now popular, BECAUSE you are now in good health or wealthy, BECAUSE I feel good when I am with you.” This kind of love is common among teenagers because it is solely based upon the others current status. The BECAUSE kind of love is also doomed to failure in marriage. When someone proclaims, “I have fallen out of love” they have fallen out of the “because of” kind of love, not true love. This kind of love is not in tune with reality when it demands things stay the same in an ever changing world. Like the If kind of love, it is unstable and fickle. It is full of doubts and fears for what tomorrow might bring.
Third kind of love: True love is the “in spite of kind of love”. It says, “I love you IN SPITE OF your faults, IN SPITE OF being fat and ugly, IN SPITE OF the times you are selfish and inconsiderate, IN SPITE OF when you sin against me,” True love is unconditional. It is the love that God loves us with. It is a love we don’t naturally possess but must learn. It is an enduring love that doesn’t even keep a score card. It will always be there tomorrow regardless of what we have done today. This is the kind of love that 50th “Golden” anniversaries are made of. Romans 5:6-8 says, “For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the very good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Notice the contrast between conditional and unconditional love in this verse. Christ didn’t die for us BECAUSE we were good and worth dying for. He died for us in SPITE OF the fact we were worthless sinners. To really know the love of God, see Ephesians 3: 19.
Remember, a changed mind equals a changed attitude: Therefore, if a person thinks no evil nor are they easily provoked to believe negative about someone. This person has a good self-image of himself/herself. On the other hand, false self is created in response to the demands of others. This type of person changes like seasons. Whatever the group says, that’s the way they flow.
Dr. Mike
(Adapted from Christian Psychology 101: How Your Mind Affects Your Attitude & Emotions; all Scripture references are taken from the KJV unless otherwise noted.)